The case of the Boyle lass

I'm sorry, but stories like Susan Boyle's make me squirm.

I don't think the event was staged, but that is the taste it leaves: a fabricated morality lesson in the error of our ways.

I am far from perfect, but I can say this: I don't have any preconceived notions about homely-looking people who have the temerity to sing in public. I imagine she sings everyday -- in church in a massed choir, perhaps while boiling haggis. Good. I think everybody should sing -- while walking down the street, while driving. I like doing it in Estonia, even though you probably need a permit.

Guess what I do have a major problem with: vulgar, sneering, passive entertainment with a gladiator's ring mentality, stuff where contestants are "eliminated" and people with some minor problem with their harmonic overtones or intonation become household names.

I don't know how these nasty shows came about in the first place. I always view these things as coming out of some warped part of California -- cooked up in some creepy mansion, part decaying Xanadu, part Phil Spector's castle.

Whatever.

To the producers of such shows, I would say this: lecture away on how you're too quick to judge and intoxicated with your own wit (yeah, Cowell, I'm looking at you), but don't try to transfer your cynicism to me.

Me, I don't care for the format of the Idol shows anyway. I'd be far more interested in hearing someone play an original song at an open mic, and then joining them on stage for jamming. The more people on stage, the better, I always thought.

Nothing wrong with a diva belting out a cover, of course (or Bob Weir in short shorts doing "Looks Like Rain", for all you Dead fans touring again). In Susan Boyle's case, the Les Mis material was a perfect match for her life story and experience. That's why it is pleasing to me.

Does it matter that she had a good musical performance in the established sense?

And what if she had opened her mouth and her voice was terrible? What would happen then? That is the real question. Or what if she had started out good, but her voice had broken in the bridge section?

It's as if the lesson is actually, there is salvation, but only if you have an amazing Musical(TM) talent, too. Otherwise we will still mock you mercilessly on TV.